This is a record of an interview with Liu Yongxin, who sought at the Hsiang Kuang Buddhist Centre in Australia. He now resides in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss. This account reflects upon his transition from the suffering of the hells to the peace of the Western Pure Land. Recorded by the chief writer, Shi Faxi, on September 8, 2023.
Liu Yongxin speaks:
". I am Liu Yongxin. Looking back at the moment my life ended, I am filled with such profound, overwhelming regret. It is a hollow, aching feeling that stays with you, but fate, as I understood it then, offered me no second chances. Almost immediately after my passing, I was dragged into the hells to face the consequences of my actions. The suffering there is beyond what any human language can truly describe. It was a state of constant, piercing agony. Every single day, I found myself screaming for help, crying out into the void, but there was no one to hear me. I felt completely abandoned, trapped in a cycle of torment where no one knew of the misery I was enduring.
The Weight of Past
To those of you still living in the human world, I wonder if you remember me? I am Liu Yongxin. I think back to all the people I once knew, and I ask myself if I still linger in your memories. I want to express my deepest, most sincere repentance for the karma I created during my time on earth. Now that I have been granted this clarity, I can finally see the truth of my past. It was all my fault. I was blinded by my own stubbornness and pride. I know now that I should never have allowed myself to become so rigid, so closed off to the world. And in the end, I made the tragic choice to end my own life—a decision that not only destroyed me but also shattered the hearts of everyone who loved me.
I am so deeply sorry to all of you. I am sorry to everyone who cared for me, who worried about me, and who tried to reach out to me. I was an unfilial son. I caused my parents so much disappointment and heartache, and for that, I carry a heavy burden of shame. It was only when I saw them here, in this place of light, that I realised they had also passed away from the human world. I broke down in tears and knelt before them, begging for their forgiveness. But they were so kind—they smiled, reached out, and pulled me up, telling me, 'Everything is in the past now. Let it go.'
A Second Chance at Life
I am truly filled with gratitude. It is only because of the infinite of Namo Amituofo that I have been given this precious opportunity to start over. I promise that I will cherish this chance with every fibre of my being. From this moment on, I will dedicate myself to learning the and engaging in diligent practice. I have made a promise to my parents that I will transform my life, that I will truly change. This time, I will not let any of you down again!
I must express my heartfelt thanks to my younger sister, Lijie. Thank you, Lijie, for your tireless efforts in arranging this Chao Du for your second brother. Without your devotion, I would never have had the chance to be liberated from such suffering. The agony of the hells is something I would not wish upon anyone. Your second brother is clear-headed now. I will follow the Buddha and continue my practice, so please, do not worry about me anymore. You must focus on taking care of your own health. I am so happy that we had the karmic affinity to be siblings in this lifetime, and I am eternally grateful to you for what you have done for me.
Reunion in the Western Pure Land
Now, my parents and I have both arrived in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss. It is a magnificent place, and we are all doing very well here. I know that, in time, we will all be reunited in this beautiful realm. I encourage you to continue your study of the Buddha’s teachings and to lead everyone around you to do the same. I will not speak to each of you individually, but I trust that you can feel that I am in a good place now, and that is enough for me.
I want to thank the Buddha, I want to thank Practitioner Su, and I want to thank all the monastics at the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre. Thank you for giving me this opportunity to be reborn in the Western Pure Land today. I will work hard to repay the grace of the Buddha and the kindness of my parents. Namo Amituofo."
